Christmas Cracker #002

December 21, 2006


Q. Have you heard the joke about the pencil?   

A. Then I’ll not bother telling you, there’s no point.   

I’m a Celebrity … Coming Home

December 21, 2006

Ooooh, We missed the whole of “I’m A Celeb” this year due to our Oz soujorn.

We kept getting random IMACGMOOH texts from Sharon while we were in Sydney, Singapore etc. We didnt have a clue who was in the show, never mind what Sharon was going on about in her txts, It was funny though 🙂

However, in the interest of knowing at least something of the goings on in the jungle, we watched “I’m a Celebrity … Coming Home” on ITV2 last night.

What fun, David Gest must have been so funny, but Scott Henshall? WHO is he!

Anyway, the point of this post is that the building me and Paul work in has just been on tv. The King of the jungle, Matt Willis is in a car going to be interviewed in Sheffield (about eating anus) and he drives past our work!

OMG Now (where) I (work) is a celebrity!!

Christmas Cracker #001

December 20, 2006

The following cracker jokes are brought to you courtesy of Denise, Sharon, Paul, Alie and Jane’s Christmas buffet lunch! 

I’ll be posting one each day so dont forget to call back soon. 

On with the gags….

Q. How do snails keep their shells shiny?

A. They use snail varnish.

Big Boys Don’t Cry.

December 20, 2006

BillyBeach Originally uploaded by Andy2Boyz.

I can officially confirm that my brother Billy is coming on holiday with us in January.

I’m telling you this in a thinly veiled attempt to justify posting this picture. Here is my ‘lil bro Billy on the beach in (I think) around 1980, probably Cleethorpes but it maybe Bridlington.

I do hope that, on our upcoming trip to Torremolinos, we dont have any more tantrums and tears like these!

PS He may just kill me for putting this here!

The Last Laugh, but at whose expense?

December 15, 2006

We had one of our infrequent Team Manager days out yesterday. Just as it sounds, its an excuse for the TM’s go out and “bond” and stuff. This usually involves some group activity followed by drinking lots of booze. In the past we’ve done odd, scary things like Line Dancing lessons and a game of Rounders in the local park. Our bosses are very tight lipped about the plans for the day, so there lots of speculation in the days prior to the event.

I had totally got the grumps on, because I hate not knowing what’s going to happen, I think I have some “control issues” I need to work out.

As it turned out it wasn’t too bad, (though in the Winter drizzle I’d question an outdoor event) Our task was a Treasure Hunt around Sheffield town centre. Included in the instruction pack were a £20 note, the Treasure Hunt Clues, a “Name the Pubs in the pictures game sheet” and an “80’s song quiz sheet” both quizzes be filled in whilst on the hunt. The £20 was used to pay for the tram into town for our group and the remainder used to pay for some of the items on the hunt. In fact one of the items on the hunt necessitated a trip inside a Pub, so most of the “kitty” was spent in there 🙂 After a couple of hours we met up in another Pub and went over the answers, resulting in my group coming in second place. My Paul was in the winning group but it was very close, I think they may have cheated a bit more than us on the music quiz!

We headed off to Cubana for the Christmas tapas menu. The food was ok, lots of olives and spicy-ness, I loved most of it, though the general consensus wasn’t so favourable. A few people ate only bread and a bit of tomato-ey rice. Oops! Even in my opinion, having enjoyed the food, it wasn’t worth the £20 a head. I also tried a bottle of Cusquenâ (Pronounced Cus-Ken-Ya) my first ever Peruvian beer, and very nice too at  5.1% alcohol 🙂

Next on the agenda was The Last Laugh Comedy Club, though on the way there we were forced to drop in to the Bankers Draft for a drink, hey it was very cold out! A bottle of Zywiec later and it was off to the club 🙂

Now, I’ve never been to one of these “comedy Clubs” before and was quite apprehensive (see – control issues) about it. It was ok I suppose, nothing to get excited about though, I laughed a couple of times but the material wasn’t so good. Here is my review.

Firstly we were introduced to Matt Reed, our compere for the evening. a young man with surprisingly old fashioned material, and asking us to believe his “true” story about Sean Connery (Dusty Springfield, up the arse, 1963) after its done the rounds on the Internet twice already 🙄
Paul Sinha was next and probably the most enjoyable of the evening, a Gay, Asian comic, got lots of laughs,  his stalker side coming out at the end was slightly uncomfortable and very funny at the same time.
Next up, Rob Rouse who you may remember from the first series of The Friday Night Project, that’s the ones with Jimmy Carr before they made it good and put Justin Lee-Collins and Alan Carr on instead. I always found Rob Rouse a bit scary on the TV, always looked like he had too much mascara on or something. Cant remember his jokes, I was too busy being incensed by a bouncer at the side of the stage.

This young (maybe 11 or 12 years old) bouncer lad, who laughed inanely at everything that was said on stage, pointed at me and made that shhhh-finger on lip motion at me! I was so angry at the little git, for gods sake the guy is on stage being heckled and asking people to shout things out and yet I get told off for leaning towards the person next to me and whispering “that’s funny” or something like that. I was so like grrrrrr.

Anyway, the main act, Silky, was introduced next, in real life he did look less sinister than the photo on the Ponds Forge website. He did some gags and played along to some “hilarious” lyrics he had devised. In fact trying to look back now, I cant remember any of his material, then again I’d had a few beers by then.

So that was our day out, nothing else to mention but a taxi ride home and a groggy head in the morning. Unless you want to get into the surprising blatant display of affection between two of my colleagues (what’s going on there?) or the pretty insulting and in-appropriate comments by one colleague talking about another member of staff.

Today the office is a-buzz with gossip about who said what and who did this etc. But, hey ho, nothing changes……

Brit Boy Flashes in Oz Loo Shocker!

December 13, 2006

OZSyd2k6 341Originally uploaded by Andy2Boyz.

I was fascinated by this tap! Of course, as you’d imagine, I’m more than familiar with red for a hot water tap and blue for a cold water tap.Imagine my amazement to discover this little beauty!Thats right, Its taken me just 36 years to discover the existence of yellow taps for warm water!

This curious item was discovered in the restroom at the top of the Pylon Lookout on the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Obviously, I used a lot of restrooms during our month in Australia and New Zealand and interestingly this was the only such tap I saw.

Also, imagine Kelly and Pauls faces as I emerged from the restroom and they asked, almost as one, “have you been taking photos in there?” 😳

The first gay divorce

December 11, 2006

Ahhhhh bless

I know everyone has blogged this but still, its a shame, no-one like to see a relationship fail.

The first gay divorce

Check out the photo though, as they say, its worth a thousand words 😉

The XFactor Live

December 10, 2006

So Paul made me buy tickets for this The XFactor Live

He doesnt understand why I think that going to a show featuring “people not good enough to make it to the final” is not quite my cup of tea. In fact every time I try to get this point across he put his fingers in his ears and gives it all, like, na-na-na-na-na I’m not listening.

So I’m saying it here instead! So there.

A whole new ….. thingy

December 9, 2006

As you can probably see, I’ve changed the whole site over the last couple of days.

I’ve installed WordPress to handle all the bloggie type stuff, its amazing how easy it all is, I wish I tried it out earlier. There were some tricky bits but the help files are great and I’ve learned loads about the php and server stuff so thats cool.
The main thing is that it makes it so much easier to update, I can login in from almost anywhere.

I’ve deleted all the old pages of stuff that was here before, I mean omg, it was so last year!

Well, hope you like the new thing and hopefully it will inspire me to blog more often 🙂

 Oh yeah, Ive installed a blog for Paul too, so like, ummmm well, we’ll see 😉

Oi, Postie, keep off the grass

December 6, 2006

Oi, Postie, keep off the grass
Originally uploaded by Andy2Boyz.

The Postman drives me mad by walking across our grass. I promised last year (in my New Years Resolutions) that I would try not to let it get to me, but its no use it totally drives me mad!

He even walks across our garden when he doesnt have mail for us, just cuts through on the way to the next neighbour!

Its not too bad in summer, the ground is firm and the grass growing. In Winter the ground is soggy and his constant tramping of boots makes a muddy path across the garden.

I’m totally putting up a fence this year, I’ll show him, the lazy git!

(Pic is not our house but the one opposite us. )