Allow me, if you will, to take you on a journey to the Flamingo Hotel, Torremolinos……..
Picture this, we are in the bar at the hotel, the 5 of us a little worse for wear, its the second day and we have definitely found our feet with the all-inclusive drink, if you see what I mean.
The “Bar Salon” itself is chock-a-block with Spanish pensioners. In fact that’s a whole other post on its own, keep an eye out for that one!
The upshot is that our gang are sat at the back in a little offshoot-annexe, immediately behind the bar.
I’ve already noticed the couple at the bar, a guy and (I presume) his wife, both appear to be mid 30’s. They’ve caught my eye twice already. Firstly, as I silently berated her for her choice of a large green flowing number to cover her “plus size” frame. Secondly, when I noticed them look in our direction and then put their heads together in conspiratorial fashion.
A few minutes later the guy approached our group and homed in on me.
He said, “Hey mate, wearing pink is not a good idea here, I’ve heard Torremolinos is the top Gay place in Spain.”
Cue tumbleweeds, I mean complete silence and few bemused looks. After what seemed like ages, my Brother finally broke the silence with “That’s good to know mate.” Not the reaction he expected, I’m guessing, and so, wearing a look of bewilderment he retreated back to the bar.
Ever the considerate and protective Brother, Billy said “If he comes an’ says aught else about puffs, I’ll deck ‘im!” Bless!
I felt a bit sorry for him after that, only for a minute though. He was probably just looking for some pals for him and wifey to hang out with. I suppose a table with 4 blokes and a girl looked like a safe place to start.
The guy was last seen back at the bar consulting with wifey. “What did I say?” he was probably asking. Wifey should have been able to spare him the pain, she was after all, a “lady with nice nails” and ought to have been able to spot a couple of Gayers from that distance. Perhaps he’d upset her earlier and this was her revenge!