These are Christmas Crackers.
Not just any Crackers, these are hand finished, hand decorated, up-market Crackers.
These are British Home Stores Crackers.
Up-market Crackers have posh gifts in them, not plasic tat, actual metal gifts.
Lets go around the table and see the gifts that popped out of these crackers….. Sharon gets a nice ballpoint pen, Paul finds a metal get-the-ring-apart-from-the-jointed-magic-trick thing, Jane discovers a set of nail clippers* and Denise a pack of mini playing cards.
All very nice I’m sure you’ll agree.
So can you imagine my surprise at the gift I found inside mine?
Thats right. A condom.** Can you see the bewilderment plastered across my face?
Hrrrmmmmph, so much for posh Cracker’s.
*beware, I got these last year and look what happened.
**Looking back I’m now wondering how long the Crackers were unattended at Sharons house? This would have been a perfect prank for a Husband/Son to play on the Wife/Mother 😉