So it’s started. I am now officially a TV widower for the next how-ever-many weeks it goes on for!
Lets see the housemates into the house, LIVE! (Well its live for me, you’ll see it afterwards)
The Twins – annoyingly squeaky
Twins “giggles OMG”
Lesley – Opinionated Feminist, possible lesbian?
Twins “Hello, we’re twins”
Lesley “No? its uncanny!”
Charley – Booty-shaking, Footballers wife wannabe, fake R’n’B styleee.
Twins “giggles Have you seeen the pink-ness?”
Charley “OMG twins, thats amazing!”
Tracey – Crazy Rave Bird, didnt understand 1/2 the words she said. Possible lesbian. Probably drug-addled.
Tracey – “Unlucky Kentucky!”
Chanelle – Yorkshire bird, sorry about the Posh Spice thing, seems a bit up herself. Too early to tell?
Shabnam – Likes to read on the toilet, possible eating disorder. Delusion of looking like Danni minogue.
Shabnam “Youre the twins! I was in an audition with 2 twins, but youre not them”
Emily – Ritch bitch/Posh totty. Are you Peaches Geldof? Parrot green eye-shadow? No thanks!
Emily “there’s a new music sweeping the land. Indie music”
Me “Errr, didnt we always have Indie since the 90’s?”
Paul “Errr, yeah!”
Laura – Loves cooking, food makes her happy, enjoys playing minesweeper (stealing drinks) Funniest housemate so far!
Laura “My friends call me wangers”
Nicky – Catholic Indian, smokes, drinks, doesnt want men near her. Possible lesbainian. Dont mention Poppadums.
Nicky “Sorry, hello, sorry”
Carole – Militant activist, unemployed health worker, has a goatee. Bi-sexual, possible lez.
Carole “Are you two twins? Oh, this is gonna be fun”
And that is that, no men in the house.
We are promised one on Friday! ONE!
Its a blooming good job I dont watch this rubbish!